Episode · 2 months ago

12: Never Say No


'Never Say No' features Barb Binkley of Cooper & Binkley Jewelers and Jimmie Plaskey , EWM Private Wealth Advisor.

They discuss stories and inspiration from a 'Never Say No' policy to those in need.

PurposeCity is presented by Executive Wealth Management and exemplifies our core values of trust, community, and compassion.

PurposeCity podcasts are at ewmadvisors.com/purposecity and all major podcast platforms.

This is purpose city stories ofhumanity in action presented by executive wealth management. Guest onpurpose city do not necessarily reflect an endorsement of executive wealthmanagement. More than six million Americans arecurrently living with AL timers between the year two thousand and two thousandand nineteen death from all timers have increased one hundred and forty fiveper cent, and almost two thirds of those and Americans are women, one andthree sen ears that die with ultime, rs or another form of dementia and fiftypercent of primary care. Physicians believe the medical profession is notready for this growing number of people with AL timers or other dimensions, andthose are surprising stastistics for me. I think, for anyone and they're still big vague numbersunless it hits you personally and we'll start with barb you'reinvolved, as well as Jimmy and causes for Al Timers,specifically in this case in the Bright Michigan area and this personal for you,it's extremely personal. We have contributed from our businessesto the cause for a long time. This year I am Coa hairing, theBrighton walked and all Seiners Wash Down En Sandy Cortez, and the reason is-and I always knew that I would but I needed time to get ready to do it. Ilost both of my parents to Demanda five years apart, my mom first in twothousand and thirteen, and it was our first first exposure really to thisdisease. I you know, we know what cancer is. We know you know, we knowwhat a lot of these things are. I didn't know a lot about all Zeiner's,except I knew of it. So it was my first exposure and it waspretty shocking and then shortly after my mom passed, we started seeing thesigns in my dad rand. We lost my dad in two thousand and eighteen yea, so yeah I mean I knew this. I knew I wasgoing to jump in big right. We need a cure. I mean this disease has no cure, so I knew I would and I just had towait until I could- and I was ready- and this was the ear and that's amazingit so on the rise and Jimmy how about you, my journey is a little bit different,I'm a nephew to the disease. My aunt was diagnosed with it in two thousandand twelve and we lost her in January of two thousand and twenty and verysimilar to a barber said. I knew what Alzheimer's the name was, but I had noidea what the disease was. No one in our family knew and it's the education.I think that's important right that we talk about the care absolutely, but theeducation that people understand right. You go back to years, fifteen twentythirty forty years ago and Grandam and GRANDPA were crazy right. No, theyweren't right. There was really signs of all sumers right right, and so youdid char some crazy facts that it's around right. All samers develops inthe brain. They sit to twenty five years before you see any signs orsymptoms right, and so it's the education like that that if we takecare of ourselves now it's not going to affect us later in life. So when didyou get involved or how did team Susi evolve yeah, so we got involved withthe Brighton Walk specifically in two thousand and fifteen. I got in the WalkCommittee, hang and signs doing all that good stuff and then a we lost myaunt. In January we started a nonprofit teamsusy to help care givers, because e stat that really kind of blew our mindsis ninety five percent of all caregivers get no help. They do withthemselves, susy be the Nahor aunt, correct, sorry, yeah, aunt, Susie andmy family. Wasn't that five percent, so it was something I opening for usbecause we're not in the five percent of anything right. So it's prettyexciting to have that help that we had and be able to help others, because inthat ninety five percent of caregivers,...

...that caregiver ate the caregivershealth deteriorate twice as fast as the person they're caring for right andthat's a problem right. They stopped caring for themselves because they'reso focused on their loved one, and we want to make sure that people focus onthemselves so yeah and for my knowledge and experience thecaregiver, especially when it's somebody personal or they're, helping afamily member when the passing happens. It's almostdouble is hard because you've a lot you've developed such a closeconnection with this person, maybe even stronger than you had before theydepended on you and there's an intimacy there and it it's tough is hard. It there's no wayto describe it and again as a nephew, and I don't evenwant to imagine, put myself in your shoes, but you say goodbye more thanonce right, and so that's that's the hard thing yes and that he, the onlyperson in the room that doesn't know they have the disease right right, andso there's that there's that part where, when you've care for someone else witha different disease, they know what they're working at themselves. But whenyou look at Alzheimer's there don't know it and that really that is thehardest part I mean you are literally losing them a little more day after dayweek after week, you're losing them you and then you really lose them. So it'sjust a it's a compounding it's just it's just awful like you start missingthem long before they've, cursed away right, it's very sad and it's one ofthose things where people professionally right. I talked to aboutinsurances and things like that, whatever it might be, and they say, Hey,it's not going to I'm not going to be affected by don't worry about it right,but it's the people that walk in that have a relationship to it or know it go.Let's Ha just have the conversation. Let's talk about these things. Whatplannings like what this situation could be like, because it's too late right, if youwait and you wait and you wait and it becomes too late right and so theoptimism that I think we try to bring through the walk and what we're doinghere is to bring that change. Yeah right, because we know that the personright now with alzei probably is going to be the first survivor, but it couldbe some on this room. It could be someone listening, it could besomeone's children right and that's what we want right. THAT'S THE CHANGE!We want, because you can't change yesterday, but we can change tomorrow.Yeah and you know the more and more. I've bet gotten involved with actuallythe walk this year and with the committee and I've talked to people andwe're you know, we've tried to spread the word through our businesses. There are, I don't know how manyfamilies there are that haven't been touched by this disease. I mean it isit's it's, like you said it's growing yeah, it's growing yeah. I mean, I knowit's in the S now. Ninety percent are affected by it yeah. So what you guys are doing is theproductive side of grief you're at different levels of it. It's touch youa little differently. It's we talk about these things. A lot onthese episodes for the fact that you know it sounds trite to be. You couldbecome better or better and I think, helping other people in the samesituations or what you learned having empathy for others that could gothrough something you've gone through. It helps your own pain and- and Ialways say maybe there's not a big answer for why. Sometimes we grieve somuch, but if we didn't, then how would these other people get help? It'salways the people that have hurt that end up building a team,Susie or CO chair the walk. You know, I think it's just a empathyright. It's just I've been there. Why? I ever have someone experienced thiswith me right. This sucks there's no two ways to put that you as city caregiver. There probably use other four letter, words that I can't sayundershot right right and you don't want your next person, your neighbor RG, your loved one, whoever that is, I think, to go through that and honestlyI've found that I mean- and yes I mean the walk is important and that's whywe're jumping in and there's big things to do, but there's little things to dotoo. So the more I've talked about it and somebody said to me Lauren,actually who started the walk here in...

Brighton. She said it's so good to seeyou. Finally, you know talking about it because it was hard to do, but the morethat yes shout out to Larn, but the more that I've talked about it. I havefound that there are people who were holding that to yeah and as soon as youopen that door for them, then they get to talk about it too, and they get torelease and it's helpful to them so even on a small scale, just in a dailyfive minute, one to one face to face with somebody. You can help a lot rightsure and I'm not going to press U to talk about it anymore. Let's move on toher, never say no policy. I love this. Where do you work? What do you the COowner of and what is the never say? No, so my husband and I own Cooper andBinkley jewellers in downtown Brighton on Main Street we've been there seventytwo years, fifty years in our family this year, well and then nine almostnine years got to be nine years. In November we open bank and babs boutiquethe little women's Bote Down Main Street next to brighten barn girl there and so yeah. We have a never say no policy, anon profit organization who asks us for an item in either store for theirraffle for their silent auction for a fund, raiser of any kind gets it. Wenever say no yeah and that's true. I looked at your website at organizations.You've helped and it's pretty incredible. Yeah you had to go toreally small print to fit them all out eh. So I have a dear friend who I used todo some charity work with and her name is Becky Dilworth and she her her herfavorite saying was no one can do everything, but every onecan do something. Sure, and that's I mean we can do something we can dosomething, so we should and why wouldn't we so we do we do that. We love, I mean fromevery school who you know, the PT is running an event to we have jumped in and we're doingsome major sponsorships in some organizations. The walk would be one ofthem right. The ARC of Livingston is an agency thatadvocates for people development, disability of Livingston, so we've beeninvolved with the Ark for about twenty seven years. Mark Howell has anorganization called fun o life. He is an er, tell ththat story and then yourOlenka Soar, another shout out mark so mark, is the son I didn't give birth to.He calls me a second Mama. We met when my oldest son Mark, who is twenty nine,was deciding to really go for a soccer future and that's when we met MarkHowell. He became my son's mentor at about Oh probably fifteen years ago,and and then we just we just became close.The families are super close. Now we got to now mark super. Well, he was thebig brother. You Know My. I have two boys. This was my older son. He was hisbig brother that he didn't have, so we just got to be super close to him.He coached him all through high school. He helped him make some decisions oncollege and they've, just they've been close ever since, and so when mark gotsick, oh gosh. What here was that Ye Kape? Ithink it was eight years ago, Gosh she's gonna, come I I get this right,but anyway, when mark got sick, he was his son was about to be born andmark wasn't paying attention to himself, but he knew he had some stomach issuesgoing on and finally went to the doctor and they found out that he had a masson his pancreas, but he was only thirty, so they said you're going to be. Youknow it's just it's a mass, it's on your pancrat, so that's important, butit's a mess. It can't be you're young right and then we find out that it'syou know a great big, tumor wow, and so he had a surgery that I think lastedlike seventeen hours. I think that the mass itself was maybe fifteen poundsand they had to do that. whipple surgery, I mean extreme, so he lost youknow they d remove other parts of his intestines and whatever, and hehonestly I mean it was he wasn't expected to make it. I mean it was justsuch a severe cancer. It ended up the...

...other day. We no thirty years old, buthis first child a sacral of his life, an athlete yeah. I mean yeah and he's apretty good golf player. I've played with him I'm terrible, say, mark I meanhe's the inspiration of team Susi right, because what mark did and has manylisteners know now right but fun to life funding, lives that need helpright and so just an you look at all simes that people need help right andso again that shout on to mark again, because what is o you want is change inlife. That's exactly what he's doing in honestly, and I was telling Jimmy thisone joumand I've talked before like we quickly threw a fundraiser togetherbecause there was just nobody knew. This was such an anomaly. What mark wasgoing through yeah? So we knew he had to be seen wherever he needed to beseen across the country wherever we can afford that right. So we threw a bigfund raiser together and within a few months of his surgery. First Surgeryhe's had many had other tumors come back he's great now, but within a couple of months of hisfirst surgery, we did a big fund raiser out at Crystal Gardens, and I think wehad about six hundred and fifty people turn out, and I think we ended upraising about ninety thousand dollars and that night mark said to me now I'mgoing to I'm going to take some of this and help somebody else right. I I sure,have yeah yeah well, I asked him to wait until we got him clear and thenand then so then he found it fun to life and that's exactly what he's beendoing he's doing. Amazing things yeah so and in brief, then, what is fun tolife? Jimmie mentioned it with Jimmy. What's fun, yeah he's funding he'sfunny lives, people that are in a life altering circumstance that need helpright now, whether it's bills, whether it's whatever mark, is going to step inand hope whether it's an illness, whether it's tragedy in your family,whether you know I mean just unless, if you need help yeah, that's what it'sabout so he's doing. The same thing we mentioned is all these people aregetting helped out of his trad out of his is gonna, say that out of histragedy at moment, right that moment that first one raiser he goes listen.Why do I deserve this? I'm going to stay it, giving it out and that's whathe's been saying, a long lace if somebody didn't have people in acommunity like I did, what would they do ye like he's like I wouldn't be hereI mean he went to Mt Anderson. He went to the National Institute of Health. Hewent to you know he went we were able to. He could go wherever he needed togo yeah and that's the way things going. You have empathy to me. Compassion iswhen you move on that empathy right, you actually do something communitygathers in saves his life he's helping other families, it inspired you tostart team susie absolutely, and what is Tim Susie has done so team susyagain, where you are in an infancy stage compared to fund a life, but weare doing that almost that exact same thing, but for caregivers, a Gat.Ninety five percent don't get help, and so right we thought it was going to berespicere. You get help for someone comes in, takes care of mom and dadforever for a couple days. Take a vacation and it turned into. Can it bea ring camera or an Apple Watch, because my love one wanders and I justneed to know if they leave right and so it's little things that people justcan't squeeze it extra three hundred bucks out to get that Apple Watch thatwe can do that yeah right and so again, care givers need the help because itwe're all going to be affected by all seiners, yeah yeah. What would be another an example or twoof your off the top of your head, like some of your, I don't say, highlightsbecause even the you know, giving a raffle take in a thing is good, but aOsband en diamond so Lacasa the agency here that works in domestic violenceright. So they do a big fund raiser every year, and I sat on the Committeefor a few years now and we are major sponsor it's called denominatos andit's a it's a fabulous event. I mean it's just a great event to come to it'sat the home of Gwenda Stephen Beard in which they are amazing contributors tothis community and it's it's just a great meal. It's outon their ranch. We donate a one, carat...

...diamond, it's a six thousand dollarvalue and we sell a hundred tickets at a hundred dollars each and you get tocome to this event and you've the opportunity to mine for a diamond. Soyou literally we've buried them in this big trough of sand and there's there's a hundred parcels inthere and you come and scoop and at the end of the night we tell everybodywhich parcel number is the actual diamond, and so we sold out thosetickets this year. So we raised ten sand dollars for LACASA. With thatevent, forty, even at the boutique store, I will tell you w e. We do againnever say no down there, but we have a program down there, and this is anothertragedy paying it forward, which is it's just an incredibly sad story, butDarian lacle was a bright on high school student playing hockey. She washeaded up to a practice in Lancing area, I believe several years back, winterysnowy weather and she was involved in a car accident and she was killed. HerMom and dad have started the Deriah project and they started it with themission that they were going to go out and spread kindness because Regina hadkids coming up to her after Darian was gone. Saying you have no idea what shemeant to me: Missus Lackley. We were you know. I was somebody who wassitting alone at lunch and Darian would come over and sit with me. She, she wasjust one of the kindest souls, so family created the DARIAN locklearproject to go out and spread the word of kindness, anti bullying and nowthey're, even expanding to doing a little bit more like what Mark's doingwhere they're Getna just help anybody who's in need. So at the Boutique we have at bencomb's,we have a line of kindness, were so t shirts and hats that all have a be kindmessage on them and we donate ten dollars from the sale of each of thoseitems to the dering lochlee. So we just presented Gena Regina with anothercheck last week, and so we've raised about fifteen hundred dollars for theproject just through the Boutique. Even so, were God it's fun, though, because you know not, everybody says yes, andsometimes people just can't yeah. I love when, like a students coming inand they're doing something for their school and you can tell they'vepracticed their speech and they've rehearsed their speech and they'recoming in and they're like nervous and they're scared and they're like I'm,going to get turned down and they come in and and I've gotten to the point now.If they are a student, I let him get it out because they need to practice right,but sometimes I'll go like you know what yes and they're like really like:it's just chacking. So it's it feels good. To I mean I just it feels goodyeah. You know when sometimes things are too close toyou in these tragedy situations to have even the you're not ready or to havethe braveness like you even to jump in to be involved in something that'spersonally affected you, but I challenge people to help somebody who is at that placeright. So it could be simple if it is back to all timers if you're too close to it or maybedon't have the time or whatever you can still go to a walk right. You can still walk a mile with your friends. You gotto go and get a good walk anyway and you're helping you can volunteer at aTabe talk about it sure. Have the conversation yeah like why I was saying,like people, a bunch of people know that we're involved with all Zeiner'sthe conversations come out of everywhere right out the wood work yeahit's interesting, because people want to talk about it. They want to get itoff their chest. They want to share their story and make sure someone elsedoesn't have to do. It is like that same theme and a donation. To I meanreally. No donation is too small. If everybody pays, you know donates fivedollars and you know look at what that could build to. I mean really right: nodonations too small, yeah yeah. I think there's something we can all do at any time. There's somany needs around us. If we happen to be one of those people that have neverhad a hard situation or a tragedy that you know, I cothurn how people who areright and with these kinds of...

...opportunities, and then, if you're,somebody who has had these things, I mean with you barb and Jimmy. These aregreat examples of what you can productively do with that. I don't knowif you want to call it pain or that energy that that stuff you got to workthrough any way. Yes, you know it really does help. It's the humanityright right makes your heart feel better. I think, and it does for meright, yeah and when it involves a person, if it a lot of these things arealways tragic and somebody's passing, but always makes that person to youfeel more valuable. The situation matter how tragic it was our lifebecomes more valuable when their life moved you to do this and to help somany other people, you know you helped mark mark, is still helping people andhe's able just at a minimum. I mean he could live his life and be a dad and hehas more than one kid. Three he's got trein those two, a Ben S, yeah coachingyeah, he's a busy man, yeah yeah he's actually his dream job. He is theBrighton High School and Var City Sacer, so yeah yeah yeah. Then you couldfollow it all along the trail, as those kids are going to grow up, two of themwouldn't have existed, one wouldn't have had a dad and when we're long gone, the inspiration and the stories arejust their lives, go on and it as of a little effort. Yes, you put it a littlemore of thee effort in, but it just it ripples beyond what we can even really track. I think you said it right.It's just a little bit of effort right right. It's an extra fifteen minutes.It's extra five minutes, listen to the high school kid come in and do theirpitch yeah and then, before you know it again, you have that relationship withMark Howel, and it's now what twenty years later we're here yeah right. So Imean it just yeah, heaven that time right, Yep, yeah I've enjoyed thisconversation. I went. I want to end it with a one. I watched a video youtubeof seventy years and seventy gifts yeah. What was at what's so fun? Oh my gosh,I felt like Santa Claus. It was so fun so two years ago a cooper and Bingleyjewelers. He hit its seventieth anniversary and we decided to give backbecause if it wasn't for this community we would not be here. This community'sbeen so good to us, and so we went out over a series of ten weeks and gaveaway or seven weeks and gave way ten, but we gave away seventy pieces ofjewelry, so we literally, I made arrangements with you know therestaurant tours and such in advance. I wouldn't want to just bring that onthem, but said you know. Can I come in on a certain day, and so we literallyjust walked in and we walked up to tables and we had rapped jewelry giftsand we said hey we're from Cooper and Binkley jewellers. I mean they lookedat US kind of funny. At first, but we said we're from Cooper an Binkleyjewellers and we're celebrating our seventy anniversary this year, and wewouldn't be here without this community, so we're out to say thanks and we havethis gift for you. It was such a blast for the first couple times out again,people were a little like m. Why is the jeweler start trying to sell mesomething you know kind of it was little. They were a little, but afterit got out and people were taking pictures and posting it on their socialmedia. Look what happened or whatever then people saw US walk into thebuilding and they knew what we were walking for right and it was just aball and you guys the stories I mean there was a family that was it was that the breweryas a matter of fact, we did one in the beer garden at Berry Back Ron. It wasone of the oldest rare trees in the US or something do you know anything aboutthat. I don't but I'll ask mat, because he, Google that ended yeah an he loves.That thing just be bright hotel. Well, there's a family that, like the mom youcould just tell, was like juggling everything right. That was probably agrand person parent. There was an older person and there were kids and therewas a dog mom had the dog on the leash and everybody was kind of all God. Weknow what mom's I mean everybody could give a shout out to a mom right becausewe juggle and we carry in we whatever, and so I'm like that mot needs gift,and so she was one of the people that we picked and she was just over themoon. Like happy excited, like...

...you know, I mean just it was just thatfeeling of being able to do that. We had, and you know this has a little sadcomponent to it, but there was we did one during the couana concert and therewas a woman who was sitting alone in a lawn chair, and so we did. Our thingwalked up, set our spiel and gave her a gift, and she came in the store acouple days later and she said you guys have no idea like what that meant to me.She said I was having a really rough week. She said this is this time ofyear that I struggle with. She said that was actually the day that myhusband had passed away and she said I was going to stay home and I was goingto Mope and then I told myself, no I've got to get out and she got out and shewent to the concert and she was sitting there by herself and she said, and thenyou show up and give me a piece of jewelry she's like you. I just had tocome in and tell you like. You have no idea of what that meant to me, so we Imean we were doing it because we wanted to just get out and gift and fun andcelebrate and give back to just for you know being here, but it actually I meanit did some good for some people personally to so yeah. Seventy, THAT'SA lot! That's a lot of guess: Yeah, Yeah Yeah! When your next one hundredseventy five are you going to do? Sat Heck, yeah, wow awesome, far yeah heck,yeah o planted some other stuff too. We got a few years to figure it out, butwe're going to we're going to do it up that I mean it. Just it's a it's a hugetestament to you. I remember when I got like we were chatting a couple days agoor me hother week, and you said you know, Brighton's been so good to us. Wewant to be good to Brighton Yeah and it's just been something. That's alwayskind of linger with me since you said that these last you know a a couple ofdays specifically and it's just it's given back right. You know in your partof the community- and this is an awesome community in that capacity,that people want to work together and play together and be together and yesto turn around and give back to the community. I think it's pretty special.You know we saw it even before the pandemic, you guys we had customers whowould see a piece of jewelry on a cruise ship on vacation and they wouldcome back and they'd say like. I saw this and I wanted it, but I didn't wantto buy it there because I wanted to get it from you guys. So can you get thisfor me so we saw it before the pandemic, but I'm telling you it was reallydriven home during the pandemic. The people who were reaching out to ussaying like what can we do? How can we help you? How can we support you?There's nothing like this community yeah yeah, that's what it's a greatplace all right. Thank you, Baron, an you Jimmy! Thank you. Ah, thank you forjoining us, Barb Yeah. Thank you. An havin me, as always purpose city ispresented by executive wealth management and it exemplifies our corevalues of trust, community and compassion, hi, I'm Juy Plasty, I'm a certified financial, planner andprivate wealth adviser in executive wealth management. A lot of people ask about what we do,but it's not about what we do. It's about what we believe and I believe that those who work witha genuine adviser are going to see successes, but others don't- and Ibelieve this because in my unique experiences as a student athlete and isa son of a business owner in the two thousand and eight down turn andbecause of these unique experiences, I want to emphasize three things in everymeeting with every client and that's to inspire them, inspire them to makebetter financial decisions. I want to educate them. I want to educate them onthese complex markets. Ultimately, I want to help them create a piece ofmind in this planning process. The executive, wealth management- and I doit differently through a build defend in advance, client strategy. If this issomething that interests you or you have any questions for me, don'thesitate to give me a college executive, Wolf Management, a.

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