PurposeCity
PurposeCity

Episode · 4 months ago

03: Compassion: w/ broadcast journalist Tom Jordan

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Ken and Tom discuss what compassion really means and how to truly be a compassionate person. 

Tom Jordan has worked as a news anchor and reporter for more than 20 years and provides media training & communications consulting for corporate executives, physicians, publicists, non-profit groups, and just about anybody who plans to face the news media. 

PurposeCity is presented by Executive Wealth Management and exemplifies our core values of trust, community, and compassion. 

Host: Ken McMullen 

Guest: Tom Jordan

Welcome to purpose city stories ofhumanity in action sponsored by executive wealth management. Yes, onpurpose city, do not necessarily reflect an endorsement of executivewealth management both on the purpose city, on kennickmullen and with executive wealth management, and this is we do storiesof humanity in action and we actually have as a guest today the person youjust heard on that on that disclaimer it was such a good disclaimer. Theletters have been rolling in and they wanted to meet the person behind thatdisclaimer. I could there's a whole story to how that came about. I mean itstarted back. One thousand nine hundred and seventy two, when were laws wereenacted in the financial world? I started writing this time. I dreamtabout this and decided to put it in action itself so yeah. So we have atime. Jordan and tom jordan is recently has been a news anchor inlocal detroit radio news radio for several years and he has a pretty big shindig coming up. We'lltalk about in well, i was gonna say we'll talk aboutit september. Reetly can talk about it now, but you're shindigs coming up inseptember. Yes, it's coming up in september, so they'd be quite a teaser.Will am yeah, we'll talk about that and want to talk about it o. We talk abouta moment now september's good okay september. Let's talk about it, then, and well what talks a little aboutyourself. I am, as you mentioned, i worked in the news industry for it'sbeen about twenty three years, mostly television news out in california aboutfifteen years, doing that news anchor reporter and what not and it came outto detroit in two thousand and thirteen and did radio news, and i just love, iloved the news industry and when i was a kid i was always curious about whatwas going on in the community, and i had this desire to to really kind ofjump in the middle of things i wanted to be there. I guess where the actionwas i kind of had this. I don't know if there's a fear of missing out typose,but i just was curious and wanted to be on the scene.So i would watch the news and wanting to be there. I wanted to be in thestudio to see what they were doing in studio. I wanted to be on the street sowhen these things would happen, so i i can remember when i became old enoughto drive, i would go to these different locations where i would see these. Youknow common backdrops, where there's reporters would stand out or they be onthe scene of whatever it was fire or you know in front of the san diegopolice department and remember seeing it, but that's what they see. You knowshow it on the news and just wanted to be there, but i had a real, i think, early understanding of how, in thosedays at least a daily newscast, would put pretty mucheverybody on the same page in a community, and i like in it to having asports team in a city where we have say the detroit lines. Everyone knows thelines are horrible, but we all love them anyway, and it's kind of somethingwe can all rally around or the detroit tigers. I think news cast to me atleast they were kind of the same thing where it was. It was a tool to bringeveryone together. Let's kind of have this little town square kind of meetingand the whole community comes together. They didn't agree on everything, but wefigured out what was going on. The well went back to our respective homes andlived our lives, but it was. It was a really unique and i think, a neededtool back the way i think it used to me. Iwas just it's so overblown. I think the industry is, but it's everywhere nowyeah, so is it true? I read somewhere that anchor man was based on on yourlife, yeah aron burgundy. He and i were someone's synonymous, but no, no, itwas a santiago bigger. He was beloved by everybody in san diego as heproclaimed yeah. I knew a guy that claimed that hewas the inspiration for rod. Berg an. I said. You don't really want to you.Don't want that, your you know. You don't want that at all, but he seemedto want it. I thought you know. They're kind of making a mockery of you, i don't know i mean i started onbroadcasting. I just didn't, have a lean, a lean towards the the journalisticpart yea. I don't know why. Maybe it was like i was to rock and roll yeah. You were alittle bit. You had that background, but you so you were. You were very muchinvolved in the music scene yeah you like. I did that i just hivite thewhole conversation all about you back to me somehow yeah, but it's related.You know there. I think music does the same thing right. It's something thatcommunicates e emotion and the...

...communicative brings people ralliesthem around i've. Certain cause. I mean some. Somemusic is very politically minded and it has been. You know you think about thes and s, but you were that side of broadcasting and i had an interest inthat as well. I considered going down that path, but i went back to what ifelt most comfortable with, which is journalism news, so this would be the first time you talkabout your september venture publicly. Yes, on this podcast on this publicpodcast, yes sells what you can about it. Well, okay! So for about eight years, iworked at a local station here in in detroit, and i have decided to move onover to talk station in town wr, and we were indiscussions for a little bit here and i thought yeah. I think i would like todo that and i feel like a talk. Radio is in the same way that the newsindustry is it's. It's a rallying point is to me it's still information, andwhile this is more of an opinion based type of program, i am on the beliefthat you know people have opinions to me that the word opinion istoo soft of a word. I think the word conviction carries with it little more gravitatemor weight in terms of what you believe and why you believe. It's true and ithink that most convictions are based on some premise, as somebody is builtup over their lifetime of observation and their senses, and what they'veobserved, what they've seen society and what they've studied, and hopefully alot of it points back to the within the premise or your axume there's a set offacts that build this this foundation all then he then, yes, i'm stilllooking up axiom axiom it's a band in th, n d, n e y. Ah it was you know. Basically a premisemight be a better word to say you know a foundation to where you can logicallyconcludes certain things as being true, and so i look at this talk. Show we'regoing to do is being based more on that more in convictions that people haveand we're going to open it up to people of all source of opinions, all sorts ofbeliefs also of logical conclusions that they've come to and we're going todiscuss it, and it's not going to be. I have found i'll be honest. I have foundthat the news in dusty in general over the past ten years, as shifted sodramatically as it splintered in such a way that you it doesn't seem it doesn'tfeel like you- can get the whole story if you're just watching or listening orreading from one particular outlet or platform. So whether it's a newspaperor radio broadcast or a television broadcast, cable social media you're,going to get different opinions in different takes on the facts that areout there and there's just been too many times where i have observed a fulllength press conference, and the highlight of these pressconference were little words here and there that could be misconstrued basedon some one's own idea of of a narrative that they want to. I guesspropagate, and it's been really frustrating for me because that's nothow it used to be used to be. We objectively watch a news conference. Weasked to write questions and then we we explain to our audiences. The hopefully objective results ofthose interviews that we've done press conferences that were given and andthen you can. You can stack up some facts into either contradict or confirm the claimsfrom these various people, but nowadays it's really. It seems to have shiftedto the point and i think a lot of journals nowadays in schools are beingtaught that they're more activists- and there are some settled facts thatwe no longer have to question, and i still believe you always have toquestion the premise. If somebody's building an argument based on a premisequestion, the premise is: well, that's, okay, that doesn't mean you're a badperson. I think it's okay to do that and in fact i think it's necessary, butthat's being a kind of lost, so we're going in my view, going to talk, radiow jr is going to bring at least me and people on our team back to that wholeidea of less question things: let's not demonize people that want to question aparticular topic and let's look at things objectively and not be afraid toask questions yeah. So in journalism, if it's leaned one side, there's kind of a thinking right thatthe ends justifies the means, so i they'redoing good or being today's word is...

...compassion, yeah yeah, so so it'sactually being compassionate by being trustworthy in it, but it to thecommunity, but in a way that is not allowing you to make decisions foryourself will make them for you, because, ultimately, it's going to bebetter for society. You, your family and community, because we know betterwhere the approach you're talking about is, i think, is more compassionate your trusting people, youcare enough to give the facts the truth and that the if you're, there's a rightwrong side, but the facts itself will lead to what is right. People will makethe right decisions if they hear the right information. It's to me it's evenbeyond that is beyond. What's right and wrong is truth. So if it's true thatyou know there is a particular politician who told a lie, you know wehave to truthfully come to that conclusion. If it's true now, we don'tknow if it's true, but we can test it to find out if it's true or if there'ssome realm of truth to that, i think the right in wrong is where ithink a lot of journalists have gotten mixed up. I don't think that's our job.I don't think it's our job as a journalist. Now, as a human being, whenyou get all the facts out there, that's our job as journalist is to get thefacts what's true, and then we bring that to the audience and they based ontheir own premises or their foundations of logical foundation or whatever theybelieve they can assess for their themselves. What's right and what'swrong, where we welee gone wrong in my opinion, as journalists have decidedthat they are the experts and they are the arbiters of what's right and wrongand deciphering that ahead of time and then giving what they believe to beright based on their subjective opinions right and the problem, isjournalists disagree with one one with another? So that's not our job. We all havedifferent backgrounds. We all have different. I guess belief of systems are worldviews that would maybe determine our view. What is right and wrong, but that's not our job again. We had tojust explain the truth. You ultimately lose the trust of people, because oncethey find out they're, not getting all the facts, yeah an the trust is goneright. I had an example. Here's an example of you know, donald trump. He was very bombasticpeople didn't like him. It was particularly journalists so becausethey didn't like him, they decided that everything we said was was a lie and heneeded to be fact checked. So as a replaced to michigan. You know, governor whitmer got a littlebit of trouble for her husband going down and saying that you know he wantedto get his boat on the water and he tried to use his wife's name to kind ofget ahead of the line to get the boat on the water. So donald trump use thathyperbole in describing the state of michigan, saying yeah, no one can go inthe water reget, the governor or her husband. Well, that wasn't true. He waskind of making a joke and he was speaking hyper bob with the policy orwith exaggeration, but our reporters were so furious. He needs to be factchecked that wasn't true, and i said: okay, that's not your job in the senseof deciding what's right and wrong, but if you're going to fact check him,let's do it on both sides. Yeah, let's fact check him on there. Let's correctthe record is at the record straight, but let's also set the record straight.When say the government governor comes out and claims that the president was the instigator of a plot to kidnap andkill her. That is an that is a huge allegation that was not based on anyany sense of an investigation. The fei would contradict what she had said, butthat's what she said publicly. So if you reporter are willing to fact checkthe president on the boat issue, you should fact check the governor on thatclaim that he is responsible for an attempt to kill her. You know thatthere are. There are serious allegations that there are otherallegations that are just silly. If you want to fact check them this good, weshould, but let's do it on both sides right and we have decided as journalistwhat we want to choose to fat check based on our own idea of. What's writerwas wrong, yeah, so yeah. So that's what kind of concernme. So i want to get back to just allowing both sides to talk all sides.I mean i will interview it, doesn't matter what part you're from apolitical background. I want to hear from you and i always tell people youknow you as an individual. This is compassion. This is what i thinkhumanity. You are so much more valuable...

...than your political position. Ourdisagreement to me. You mean so much more this disagreement. If we have one,it doesn't even come close to interfering with our relationship. Inmy in my view, because human beings are much more valuable than a simpledisagreement on politics, so we talked about it in a a broadcastform. I think it's, it's compassionate to build trust inpeople's compassion to give people the truth. It's compassionate to let peopledecide for themselves and, in my view, more positive, productive outcome, but on amore personal level, what would you say outside the broadcast round? Butpersonally is a human being? How would you define compassions used in a lot ofways, but how would you verbalize what what compassion is? I mean it's not athing. It's a, i think it's a state of mind. Is it a just an emotion? Is it a verb? Is it a description of something we do orfeel you know? What is it? What is it? I think that's that's a great questionbecause we can say that thing about compassion. We can say about love, youknow what is love. You know it is at a verb. Is it anou compassion? What iscompassion, and i think it's many things, but i think it's something thatis somewhat in late in human nature. We like, we know, what's good to becompassionate, but i also think it's a learned trade and how do you learn tobe compassionate a first? What is compassion, i think, compassion iscaring about others in the same way or even more so than the way you want totreat yourself. You know it's, it's caring about. Others needs at least asequally as your own need. So that's a very difficult thing to do. I don'tthink it comes. Naturally we want to do that. We like the idea of compassion,but how do you learn to be compassionate? How do you learn toreally truly care as much for someone who maybe is addicted to somethingdrugs or alcohol or someone who has fallen on very difficult times? It maybe their fault, it may not be their fault, maybe a result of circumstances.How do you learn to really care about that person to the degree that you willoffer them tangible relief, tangible help other than he god bless, ye i'llbe praying for you, but how do you come around the aside them and put your arm around him? I trulybelieve- and i think the evidence bears it out- that compassion is learnedwithin the family, the family structure and the family structures where welearn. I think the most important lessons of life. We can talk aboutfinances. You know in the family, in the home there is a very demonstrable and real felt need tohandle your finance as well right. So why is that? Because, if you don't,let's say you're addicted to gambling you're going to affect your spouse,you're going to fetch your kids, all of them are going to suffer unless youdeal with that issue, that is affecting your finances and that would be a formof compassion making sure that what your what your you've been giving isbeing used for the benefit of not just yourself but for those under yourdirect care as your responsibility, it's caring forother people, so compassion would include the word care. So how do we dothat? So with the family? I mean just think about the basic lessons of familylife. You know you you get up. You have to do. Do yourcharge, you got to do dishes, it's not just for your benefit. Most people hatemy kids hate doing dishes. I hate doing dishes i always have, but if i don't doit they're going to pile up in the sink and then you know, someone in my familyneeds to play they're going to be well they're dirty! That's because the person who issupposed to clean them didn't do it in it affects somebody else. That's a realsimple example. Learning just to take care of yourself is actuallycompassionate for others and we're training. Our kids take care ofthemselves. Why? Because once they learn to take care of themselves,they'll also learn to take care of other people as well. So it's thiswhole idea of training within the home that i believe, teaches us to becompassionate, so that's within the home and then what do you do as afamily once you're healthy inside the home? How can you learn to be compassionatefor other people, so we go out and we try to try to give maybe some financesor if you have a neighbor who needs your neighbor comes knocking at thedoor. Hey. I ran out of butter. There's a real, simple look: epic: do you haveany butter yeah? I take my butter, you know that's a real simple. You know example of that, but it extends muchmore beyond that. Maybe d, your...

...neighbor just lost a child in a caraccident. That's when things get serious. What are you going to do yougoing to just sit there and say wish them well, or are you going to go overand do whatever you can to help that person? I mean that's the keydifference. Isn't it where goes from a feeling to when it goes from feeling to action? Soyou can you mentioned it before innately that there's like a kindness in all of us,but selfishness kind of takes over, but i think we all feel compassion, but it's not just feeling sorry for, likeyou can see on the news, something bad happens and you feel sorry for it oryou can feel like you're working in journalism and you're, not givingpeople the whole truth to make their decisions. I think that would botheryou personally because, because you have compassion like peopleneed to know the truth, but the action is i'm going to work some place where ican give people the truth, then you feel better as a human being, where you could stilland in a philanthropy wait write a check and kind of get rid of the like. I should do something, and thatis an action, but i think there's a part where thedifference between when you roll up your sleeves and organizations need checks. But you goto food kitchen, you actually cook and serve the food where you're motivated to roll up yoursleeves and get your hands in humanity where you're touching another person. Ithink that's the ultimate of compassion that the other one. Even if it's checkwriting you need it or you feel sorry, but that kind of makes you feel good ashuman being. Everybody wants to have empathy for other people, but i think personally, we have a need to becompassionate and you only fulfil your own need wouldsound selfish by not being selfish right. The moment you're not selfish,and you do something and you can't find one area, and it word benefits you and you do it anyway. No one will everknow i did this. It doesn't help me in any way it doesn't get me a new client.It doesn't whatever no one's going to congratulate me and you help somebody. I think, that'swhen you fulfil that need you have inside that every human being has atyou're letting that kind us out. Otherwise, i think it's kind of sugarcoating. You need to be kind. So, like i said, check, writing isimportant, because organizations need the money, but when you, when you don't actively engage withhumanity when you're not actually engaged in your community you're stillseparating yourselves from the the pain of people, you can look if somebody intheir eyes when they're hurting- and you can see somebody collapse fromgrief and you're, holding them as they're shaking that's when everything else getsstripped away. All your ideas of what am i going to get out of this. Itdoesn't even matter because you're connecting with another human beingsoul to soul, and you can feel the grief that, at that of the person, hasi'll give an example of a person. I witness do this in a remarkable way. Hewas he's a good friend of mine, he's in my wedding twenty six years ago. His name is steve, steve boman. He wasliving in the bay area of california. He saw on the news that babies in tijuana mexico were so cold. They were freezing todeath. They were living in these shanties, really a dump, that's wherethey would like you i've seen. Is you go down there? The people are living ina dump and there's no heat, obviously so theso. He had a wife. He had three kids. He looked at his wife, let his kids saywe're going to quit my job, we're moving to that dump in mexico, and theydid they moved down there. They got rid of everything they lived in deep, deeppoverty. This a guy that lived in the san francisco bay area, gave up his job,went down there and they ingrained themselves in the community to tominister to serve people who are hurting in a real, tangible way. Thatwas more than writing a check. He gave up his livelihood. He was there to holdthem to help them to teach them to be part of the community, not as if he'ssome savior, but as he's one of them, and what i saw happen i mean that's,that's the whole idea is more blessed to give than it is to receive hisfamily. You know we would think logically, that that wouldn't be thebest thing for your kids, they're young. They might be dangerous. What abouttheir education? Well, the way it all worked out. I meanthey were educated in the same schools in the public schools in mexico andthey went in there. They learned spanish. They. They grew up with theseother kids in poverty. Well, these...

...these kids grew up to be scholars. Theygot these amazing scholarships to these phenomenal colleges and universities inthe united states, and it not only didn't negatively affect them. Itbenefited them in such a positive way that they went out now and now they'readults impacting the world in a much greater way, with a much deeperperspective of humanity because they gave they died to themselves in such a waythat they would benefit others, and it did come around. It's not why they didit, but it came around to benefit them, and that's something that was the newsitem see that s that's the thing nowadays. If we saw that we saw babiesare dying, we would. We would find a way to blame some sort of politicianfor the fact that that baby died when in fact it was it was. It was poverty, as it was the naturalconsequences of being poor in in a very difficult situation where it allowedpeople just giving them the facts. It allowed other humans to go down thereand help, and that was an example of just givingthe facts of what's going on. Let people do what they want to do andcompassion came in and they help these people they be friend, ed people,they've have friendships for life and they've been transformed for life onboth sides. Of that particular situation. Yeah i mean we, you may recall one on a mission trip atone time. Yeah. Where was this boot bona past. Was that so we were habitshat for humanity. Just a brief. That's your call! If you think about that trip, we hadsome crazy stuff go on. We had some travel nightmares, but we still haveparis has been o, we never forget per time and i get rerouted. We missed upflight in paris, we had six hours to kill and we're dragging our littleluggage around to see the eiffel tower and- and we end up in germany the sameday, so we could get over to budapest. That night, we were in four countriesin one day and then they lost our luggage once we got there yeah and welived in a white tshirt and a little toilet. Ry bag to budapest airport gave us yeah so kind of themfor days. For days on end, but we still have paris eh and that one cafe yeah all right, isaid so, but i bring that up to say even youknow, once we bought some clothes and then and then our luggage ditch op andsuch and things were normal in my mind and i'm thinking you'll agree, but youcould tell me is i mean we did some fun stuff and opean around a nice europecity and what not and you know just fun times, but those are good memories and a lot ofpictures but like what is satisfying, is a human being, no matter whatmotivation you have to go on those, even if it's really fun or adventure orteam building. There's all these different reasons. But after you spend a few days why they don't have power tools, idon't know but trying to knock down walls like fred flintstone that werebuilt like a free, free, great war. I think it's crazy chump. You know and trimming rush around, so kids have a little yardand just helping lay floors, so people can have so. Families can have a nicer place tostay, but it's when the mother and her children come the touch with real humanity. These arethe people that your labor is affecting to makesomebody's life better, with no benefit to me, and i think that's where youwalk away even years later. For me, that's the most meaningful part,because that satisfied something, i think that's deep with than anybodythat you you're here on earth, not just foryourself. Everything else was a fun memory that wasn't particularly a fun memory,you're just meeting people, but is the most meaningful. Hmm yeah. I don't knowhow you felt, but i remember when i met this mother and i know she had thisdesire to say. Thank you i didn't know. I didn't even want to hear. Thank youbecause at that point it was. It was completely. You know we had done a fewdays of work and it was. It was backbreaking work, sledge, hammers andwhat not, but all of us in that group knew we were doing it for somebody andit didn't matter if we were kind of hurting and what not we just wanted tokeep doing it, because we knew a mother was going to benefit, were knockingdown these walls and doing these different things. But then, when we mether, i didn't want to hear her say. Thank you for doing this or have everfeel the pressure. I wanted to get to know her in her circumstance and what aletter to where she isright now and...

...that's where i think we felt this wholeword compassion. That's also an emotion, you know it's that's where i feltcompassion for this, this woman, who is in the circumstance who had her ownresponsibilities, to take care of a child that she was having a dif difficulttime doing, because she didn't have a place to live. While we were helpingher with that right, which was incredibly rewarding but knowing her story in realizing.There are so many other people just like her who are in circumstances. Wedon't have to fly to europe to meet those people. The right here inmichigan they're all around us. These people we have opportunities every dayto at least give a kind word, but even once we do that give that kindword try to find out a little bit more about somebody get buck to the heart ofstuff. I like doing that. I talking to people and saying how's it going andbut then go deeper than that and we're so inclined, i think, in our society tochit chat for a little bit and then move on, and i like chit chatting too,but if we can get to really know oneanother and it's and then find a way to help. I mean we're all learning, i'mlearning how to do this, i'm not there yet, but i want to. I want to be better atthat there's so many. So that's a yea, a european trip acrossthe world. Not everybody can do that, and but that's what this party, what thislittle programs about just talking. I think really two things if i were tothink about this podcast, for instance, is for people to think about their owncommunity and look a little closer look a littledeeper, there's all kinds of things going on in your own community, whereyou may not think people are hurting, but at some level everybody's hurtingand it doesn't have to be a poverty situation. Sometimes it is, it could bein the fancy neighborhoods that somebody lost a spouse. Somebody lost achild, and i like, if you can relate to thator help in any way, is amazing. They might not always needthe financial help. Maybe you can look behind these big brick walls and theselarge mansions on some lake here in michigan and your neighborhood yeah, myneighborhood, not, but beyond those walls, there arepeople just like you and me who are struggling in some sense. Itmight be a very difficult marriage. It may be the fact that you might thinkthey have a lot of money, but they're just declared bankruptcy or they justhave a rebellious child. It could be in your own home. You can look across thethe dinner or breakfast table and you've got a fourteen fifteen year oldchild deep within his or her mind, there's thanking thoughts that are verydark. How do you? How do you reach that proofs this rightthere it is. It is one of the most difficult things to do in one reason, for that is becausewe're already we're also trying to figure out our own lives. How am igoing to? How am i going to appease my boss? Who's got this dead line, whoi've got to meet, or else this consequence lingers over here for meand then for other people too, and then you've got this fourteen year old teenager who needs, in our case yourdad or your mom, to understand them and they're just people all around us, soso utilizing compassion as a tool to reachpeople and to gain their trust. I can tell you a kid: a teenage kid isnot going to reveal the inner workings of their mind if they don't trust youno matter how compassionate you are. If they don't trust you that you have their best interest inmind, they're not going to reveal the deepest darkest secrets in they'rescreaming for help, but they're not going to come screaming to you for help,and but they need you and so compassion and trust go hand inhand, and so the people are all around usthere in our homes, they're in our neighborhoods they're in our townships,in our cities, they're in our workplaces and they're in are you knowacross the in another continent somewhere all around us. My previousneighborhood i lived in, which is only about ten minutes from our life now-and this is just maybe four years ago, nice quaint middle class, neighborhoodgreen lawns, kids riding their bikes, you know just a nice. All everyone knew eachother. Would i'll take our kids at christmas to this one house and theyhad gingerbread houses the stuff for them to make for like every kid in theneighborhood, and then i think it was at the end of every summer right beforethe school year. Some before the school year would start, one house had aprojector and they would show a movie...

...on the back of their house for thewhole neighborhood kid it was that kind of neighborhood and one of the, and even you know i try to be involvedin what i consider like compassionate work when i can and this and that- andi come back to my quaint neighborhood, while i'm out trying to make adifference out in the save the world. Save the world come back to myneighborhood. That's already doesn't need it right and well one of those guys one of the main topfamilies. I know if you can call him the top family, but one of the mainsocial organizers has got the perfect kids and college bound just great top in theathletic. Stop a cute first guy to welcome me to theneighborhood i mean couldn't be a nicer family was found dead with a self inflictedbullet wound in the back of his yard, you're kidding in our neighborhoodthree houses down and then then i hed to watch his wifenow and his kids mowing the lawn every day.Now their dad list and and there's not. You can't prevent or help everything,but it's that thought that sticks with you afterwards is when you think aboutpeople in need are out there. For me, it was three houses down and itdidn't look like they're in the at at all something's going on financial orwhatever it was where you were. That decision ends upbeing the one you think is the best we are, i think we're accustomed to livingwith a veneer around us, even in seder own homes, and i am convinced that ifyour own household is not healthy, as i mean as perfect by any sense, i'm notperfect. My house is not perfect, but we're honest if we're having a bad day. I think weall share that with each other, and i because that's part of it too, isasking for help. You know this. Is this poor dad this husband? He probably wasthe guy that always wanted to be the giver, but if you can't receive your ultimately going to hurt thosearound you because everybody needs help. So if i go to my wife- and i confess ineed some help- i'm struggling here- that's a good thing for her too. It's agood thing for my kids to hear that okay, they're dead, also needs help.He's not going to be perfect, because when i do fail them, it could bedisastrous to them if they think i'm perfect well, if dad isn't got it all together, then what about me?No! They need to know that i struggle to, but i'm learning as we go. I've gotthis many years on them, so i've learned that much more, so i can helpthem through some things. I'm still not there yet, and i need people in my life,my life, to assist me. It's this symbiotic relationship that we all havewith one another were just we're all people some have more experience than others,but if we have compassion towards one another where even if we disagree on a particular you know, maybe it's notjust politics. Maybe it's the way our home is operating or maybe it's ourfinances. If we disagree, let's put it out on the table. Let's find out wherewe disagree, why we disagree in those things not in order to demonize theother person, but to understand. Maybe i've got a blind spot here. I need tounderstand this a little more if itif, it's not emotionally may beintellectually any noters and where they're coming from try to work thingsout and if you don't agree on something we can agree to disagree, because it'smuch more important that we love one another that we that we live in peaceso long as we have the main core values that we agree on. You know, there's goin be otherperipheral things that we're not going to agree upon. We can work those upright, so yeah we're all in need. I feel horrible about your neighbor. Well,you know what it was a hard thing to bring up, butyou know what i taught me was for one. You can't know everybody. You can't beintimately involved in their lives or maybe you could have done something,but what i've done from then on is i make myself available, so i maynot know you very well, but if you ever, but i'm alwaysavailable, i do that with pastors i meet. I dothat business people i meet now just neighbors like that one. He was onethat came over first, one to greet me in the neighborhood cordial, but notthere's no regrets, but i think that wot, what if there's somebody issoenter to talk about, but you just remembers this one kind that said heyif you ever want to get together. Just give me a call yeah just that simpleyea to everybody, no matter who they are in your life,past present or just neighbors just to be an open to be available. You don't you can't beeverybody's friend, you can't you're, you leave something hours in a day oryour surplis. Pretty small, but it doesn't mean i have to close off eitheryeah, and it also means that you need...

...to go out. Do the same thing. You needto ask people to help you. I think that guy probably maybe he felt like he wassupposed to be the one guy that people can come to, but then who does he go toright, and so it's a back and forth- and i don't know i don't know this thisgentleman who he was, but i think if, if you knew what he know, what we knownow about how his wife or his kids needed him to be there,he may have sought help. But again, i don't know hiscircumstance, but i've know people that have been in similar circumstances, andthat was the case. So to me, even we talk a lot about compassion,compassion doesn't have to be. When you see a need, i think it's just to thinkabout. Everybody has need seen or not, and so you can't know what to move on.If you don't see it, but that availability that somebody won't even realize your somebody tocall on until they have nobody to call on yeah, i bring it back to the home inthe family structure. I think that we learn to see other people's needswithin the family structure. We learn how to resolve certain needs within thefamily structure, and this is this is played out over centuries overmillennia. It's not just an america. It's all across the world, the vastmajority of countries they have children that live in a two parenthousehold in those two parent households drastically reduce the risksof poverty of crime, of homelessness, a lack of being able to take care ofoneself. I mean this. Is statistics ruin this time and time again thatthat's as i think when i, when we were talking about a premise or an aximearlier, that is a solid premise that we can we men referring back to axiom.Oh yeah, i got axio worm thou. We can always go to just say.Okay, this does work, and i know there are certain messages out there to saythe family or the nuclear family. Is it necessary? No, it is based on everymetric that i have seen in pretty much every single country that exist on theplanet. Today. The family structure is the one key stable thing that almostguarantees a very strong outcome in an individual's life, not always there'sabuses that occur within families. We know that the families are not perfect,but if you have loving parents, no one is going to love the kids more than theparents on average, and those parents will do anything they can to make andhelp their child succeed. If you have healthy parents who themselves areraised in a healthy home, you had healthy families, he got a healthyneighborhood. You got a healthy neighborhood, you got a healthytownship, you get out the cawns, l, healthy county and state and ultimatelya healthy country yeah. Well, let's wrap this up. I brief mention with soexecutive elth management, not making this sound like a commercial,but we both are really here, because i'm working for executive elthmanagement who sponsoring this podcast, because they really, i was attracted totheir core values. I was i didn't know. The core values at first were trustcommunity compassion. I just met the people in the interview process and iwas interviewing with five companies and this appealed to me most because ofthe people i were meeting seemed so kind and with people doing your finances, youwant them to people, you can trust and that have those their personal livesare full of compassion and and the farther i went in it justcame clear that this is like a place, i'm comfortable and then for those listening. I knew tom beforethis and i was telling them that in my interview process and then i was kindof joking one day on the phone with them. When i was at work when he's about to make up a big dealwith w g, i was like hey wait. You should work here is like okay, then youkind of are working here yeah, i so because of our friendship and what youwere telling me and i've watched you go through a variety of interview,processes and and you've shared with me, some thoughts about different companies.And what will you said about executive with management intrigued me becauseyou and i we've both interacted with a lot of different companies. A lot ofdifferent people and the hen when something sticks out is typicallybecause there's a few reasons, but one of themis that their words match who they really are, and you were starting topick up well. These people really are who they say they are the theircompassionate they're, trustworthy they're about their community, and ithought okay. Well, this is a financial company and you know the fine financialadvisers and wealth management, and so i was intrigued and i started lookingthe their their company and for information about them and then i spokewith with mike lay. I spoke with sean.

I spoke with some people with withinexecutive werth management, and i thought these people are the real dealand i don't say that lightly, because i've also had bad experiences with. Ithink a lot of people have with financial planners that that kind who you always kind of question, is there.Is there a motive behind what they're revealing to me that i'm not yet seeingand you're kind of skeptical? But i've asked enough questions. I've lookedenough into executive worth management, the people that are there that they'rethey're the real deal they're authentic. So i started i wanted to do some consulting workwith them and i'm doing that now and i'm get to work with you and i get towork with you know bert and mike and shan andkirsten and greg greg barber and so many goodpeople over there. So it's it's so refreshing, and i mean thisauthentically it's refreshing to work with people who truly do care not aboutwhat's going to happen today or to morrow, but really for the long term atten fifteen twenty years down. The road is this, the best for you and that'sthat's what they truly believe yeah and for me it's the same as for you andjournalism, discomfort, if you feel like you're, not giving people the bestinformation, and then you can enjoy your work when you find a place thatyou are, i can't o. I do business development type work and i can't goout and help promote a business that i don't i wouldn't have my own say my to my family, mysister, you should use these people, i'm not going to tell other people toso it does. It falls onto those lines for me were then it's comfortable andthe job is easy because you really you know, i really joy these people andit's great company and they support this podcast. So, thanks for being herethanks for having me, can it since a real honor and is it's fun?Congratulations on the podcast and thank you for this stellar mug cheersto you. I know these are awesome and we'll close out with a little moreexecutive wealth management. We are in a period of time of intensein continuous change. People who want to build wealth need to know that aninvestment philosophy and process is critical to any long term investmentstrategy, so clients when they're, looking at their portfolios and they're,seeing the markets move in a very negative fashion or even in a positivefashion, and we want to make sure that we're taking advantage of what themarket of doing so we're, building we're defending and were advancing thatstrategy through compassionate growth. We build defend in advance. That is thefounding principle of our investment philosophy, clients, knowing that theycan be up at one level of risk and very gradually reduced as on a non emotionalanalysis, is mathematically driven. It is based on the system that is builtfor a very large community. Our team is built up of not just a couple adviserswith their assistance like you'll see in a lot of offices, we have ourinvestment team here in investment policy committee. We have ouroperations department. Here we have our compliance department. Here we have atechnology department here which allows our advisors to have more direct accesswhich allows them to not to jump through as many hoops when that justleads to a more efficient clint experience. I wanted to be part of acompany that had and fostered that team work that had regular meetings like thecase studies, the collaboration, the practice management- i saw a ton ofvalue in that being part of a team is crucial for me. I came from almosttwenty years in the banking channel. Thinking about why i came here wasspecifically to do with the way that they treat the employees as family. Wehave a great culture here. That's one of the things i really take pride in.It is about chemistry. You need people to want to be here. The fact that we'retreated so well allows me to focus and other things for our clients and how ican help them, and what i really found special about this place was that theemphasis on building relationships- and that is something that i've carriedinto my practice as an advisor. I want to build that plan and then obviouslyallows to defend it, but ultimately is that peace of mind that we're in helemadvance going forward, i'm the partner to the investor. With inside the firm,i really enjoy answering clients, questions a lot of our clients like toread thoroughly through our disclosure documents, and they have a lot ofexcellent questions and part of my job is to ensure that the client isinformed and has access to that information. So, if there's ever a timewhere a client has a question and if they just want to give me a call, theyare always welcome to do that. We communicate with our clients. We arefollowing up with clients when they ask questions, we want to make sure we'reproactive and doing that, and that's part of our strategy of building anddefendingg and an advancing or our...

...relationship. I've been working forexecutive, both management for over ten years. I love the people that i workwith with great clients, our clients trust us. We care about our clients,building report folio and your retirement, defending it when it needsto be defended in difficult times and advancing it when things ternal build,defend, advance schedule, an appointment to day and meet with anexecutive, welth management adviser to learn how we can build defend inadvance. You are investment future. I.

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